


March Into the Sea

by butyoumight



Series: We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drowning, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-10
Updated: 2007-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-16 20:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butyoumight/pseuds/butyoumight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Mikey paused, his own shirt hanging off one shoulder as he watched crescent moon light sink into his brother's skin, making the elder glow, the divinity Mikey knew he held finally coming out visibly. Too bad there was no one else there to see what Mikey already knew.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	March Into the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Consistently lauded by my fiancé as the best fic I have ever written. I've gotta say, I've been known to agree with him. Technically part of a 'series', a concept based on Modest Mouse's _We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank_ album. I've only written two parts, but I might write the rest one day.

Gerard tugged his shirt off over his head, folding it carefully, setting it down on the sand, standing straight again and tilting his head back, facing the sky, slowly breathing in the salt-sweet air. Mikey paused, his own shirt hanging off one shoulder as he watched crescent moon light sink into his brother's skin, making the elder glow, the divinity Mikey knew he held finally coming out visibly. Too bad there was no one else there to see what Mikey already knew.

Gerard blinked as he turned towards his brother, a soft smile quirking the corner of his mouth at the look on Mikey's face, gaping openly, shirt hanging off his arm.

He stepped nearer, gripping the shirt and tugging it easily off Mikey proper, folding it carefully and setting it over his own before loosening his belt, pulling it completely from the loops.

Mikey tore his gaze away from his brother when Gerard took the shirt from him, turning towards the black water instead, shifting from foot to foot, sand gritty between his toes. He looked at the horizon, barely able to discern between darker-than-navy ocean and darker-than-navy sky, until he felt warm skin pressing against his bare back. Hands callused not like his own; smaller calluses, more specific in their cause; traced down his arms, curling in to thread fingers and hold in a comforting grip that Mikey remembered from childhood.

Gerard's voice was right there, chapped lips brushing his ear. Despite the relative warmth, Mikey shivered. "Are you sure this is how you want to do this?"

Mikey gulped, gripping Gerard's hands right back, closing his eyes and taking a steeling breath.

"I'm ready."

Gerard's laugh was almost non-existent, a tiny chuckle that was barely discernable.

"I didn't ask _if_ , Mikes. I asked _how_."

Mikey released his grip on his brother's hands, and Gerard did the same on reflex, allowing Mikey turn around and place his arms around his brother's waist, resting his chin on Gerard's shoulder.

"Yes. Like this. With..."

"With me?"

"If you really want to come."

Gerard pulled back so he could catch Mikey's eyes. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Gerard's hands spread over Mikey's chest, feeling at his too-visible ribs, fingers trailing down the tiny bumps like keys on a xylophone, Mikey's skin making music beneath his hands. When pale fingers reached the waist band of his jeans, for once Mikey didn't stop Gerard's gentle fingers, didn't feel his breath catch in his throat, didn't look around to ensure they were alone. He didn't have too, it didn't matter anymore. He let Gerard unbutton his jeans, lower the zipper, slip a finger in a belt loop on either side of the fly and slowly wiggle the jeans back and forth off his hips.

Gerard lowered to his knees, a quiet word imploring Mikey to step each foot from his jeans, not bothering to fold these, just tossing them down on the sand. It didn't matter anyway.

Gerard wrapped his arms around Mikey's legs, fingers spreading across either thigh as he pressed an almost-stubble-rough cheek against Mikey's pale stomach, taught and nearly concave. Mikey hadn't eaten in a few days.

Gerard turned his head, pressing his lips to Mikey's skin, right below his navel. Mikey let himself go, for once enjoying the feeling of his brother's lips embracing his skin. Not that he hadn't always enjoyed it, but that he'd never been allowed, in a way, to appreciate Gerard for what he really was, what they really were to each other. The fear of being discovered one of the greatest fears Mikey held. He couldn't lose his brother, not for anything, not in any way.

Gerard stood up, stepping back, sand almost ringing as it fell from his legs. Everything was magnified, tonight. Everything was musical.

He glanced around once, on reflex alone, then dropped his boxer-briefs to the sand, kicking them away. His skin still glowed in the moonlight; he looked all the more like a God on the sand, golden eyes flashing at the ocean, a sculpture, tiniest imperfections all the more necessary for his true perfection. No one was _perfect_ , because then they'd all be the same. No one was _normal_. Normal, perfect, didn't exist.

Mikey smiled, tugging his underwear down, almost tripping as he attempted to be as graceful as his brother, trying to flick the garment away with his foot and failing. Gerard giggled, stepping close and pushing the briefs away with his foot, wrapping his arms around Mikey's waist, dipping his head and pressing his lips to Mikey's collar bone.

"Let's do this."

Mikey took a steeling breath, and Gerard pressed his lips to Mikey's, threading narrow fingers in his brother's freshly dyed hair, sharing his own confidence.

Gerard shifted to the side, turning Mikey around and threading their fingers once more. He took a few steps towards the breaking waves, tugging his baby brother along by the hand, like he did when they were children, only allowed to the park between the hours of three and four, and only together, and required to hold hands the entire way to and from.

Mikey tripped on the first few steps before managing to keep up with Gerard's pace, just like when they were children. Before long they were running headfirst into the water, jumping giddily over the waves and lifting their knees higher and higher, lifting their feet above the water as long as they could, not wanting to lose their speed.

Mikey's voice was breathless as he shouted to be heard over their splashing.

"Ray would have an aneurysm if he knew we were out here."

Gerard responded equally loud, equally breathless.

"Ray would have a heart attack if he knew why."

It was Gerard whose legs came up short; he tripped, pulling Mikey down along with him, both boys catching a mouth full of water thick and grainy with salt and sand.

They had to release one another's hands to keep going, staying horizontal and swimming for the horizon.

Ten minutes later, Mikey stopped, kicking at the expanse of water under him. Gerard bobbed next to him, hair dripping, catching the moon light and making it spectrum into tiny rainbows, a gay little halo, and this thought made Mikey giggle, spitting salt water out of his mouth, saliva trickling down his chin.

"What?" Gerard couldn't help but smile.

"You look like some faggot Christ."

Gerard shook his head, reaching out to wipe off Mikey's chin. "Well, you look like Frank. I think I'll stick with gay Jesus."

Mikey giggled all the more, as always reveling in the fact that Gerard's mind worked exactly like his own did, Gerard got it, Gerard had always got it. Gerard's thoughts were Mikey's, and vice versa.

They simply floated for a while, holding each other around the waist, bobbing gently with the rising tide.

"Maybe we should have said good bye." Mikey's voice was soft, worried.

"The note will be enough."

"But they..."

"They would have tried to stop us."

"Oh, Gee..."

"Baby brother, you said you needed this."

"I do."

Gerard took a shaky breath, tilting his head back as he felt the water almost beginning to rush. He tightened his arms around Mikey, pressing his lips to his brother's, breathing words into his mouth. "The rip's got us."

Golden eyes met in the dark once more, tiny tears gathering in the corners of Mikey's eyes, a tiny ocean right there, aching to join it's larger self.

"I'm going to miss them."

"We'll see them again."

Mikey blinked, took a deep breath. Water flooded his mouth. "I love you."

Their lips met once more, and Gerard pulled some of the salty thickness into his own mouth, spitting it towards the sky after he broke the kiss. "I love you too, baby brother."

They held each other tight, tighter as the rush grew stronger, the depth impossible to fight. Mikey was the first to let go, his thin stature, nothing but muscle and bones holding no buoyancy of it's own.

Gerard gasped and gulped as his brother's mouth fell away from his, Mikey's eyes closed, mouth open as if in the throes of ecstasy. He waited for nearly twenty minutes, give or take, waiting to make sure Mikey had gone.

Gerard let himself go after him, every molecule in his body spreading out into the water like it belonged, going back home. Salt stung his eyes with a delicious burn, burnishing, polishing gold. He opened his mouth and breathed in, crystals cutting through his throat.

He spread his arms in a final good-bye.

His brother was waiting for him, where they could finally escape disdainful looks, fearful rendezvous, crippling mental illness, fear and doubt and pain.

Waiting, where they could finally be free.


End file.
